dirtbag007

I've had a long and troublesome period the past years. One which had some moments of happiness, but also plenty of moments of depression.

A young man went away from home to search something. He was seeking the scarcest commodity in the world. The thing which is the hardest to find. He had spoken to many persons, and no one could tell him exactly why it was so scarce.

Many people told him it was gold or something similar. He saw plenty of gold so scarce was not the problem. He had already been on this search for 20 years by now. He was getting tired of it. Having travelled to almost anywhere in the known world, he tried the last place he hadn't been to during his search.

He spoke to his father, who was now getting quite old. He asked him what he thought was the scarcest commodity in the world. His father thought for a very long time, and was silent for minutes. He patted his son on the shoulder and asked him to walk with him. They went into the forrest.

His father pointed him to a very old tree. He said wisdom comes with age. You can't buy wisdom for any price. That's one of the scarcest. He walked on.

After a short time he pointed towards an old tree which had fallen during a storm. He said that wisdom is not the only thing being important and scarce. He said that adaptability is also a scarce commodity which can't be bought. And he said this does not only apply to humans or trees, but to anything in the world.

He pointed towards an open spot in the forrest. His son walked up to him and looked in awe. His father placed his arm over his son's shoulder. He said the two last scarcest commodities which can't be bought are peace and love. The only way of peace is finding it in yourself. Without peace in yourself you can not be peaceful towards others. Love can only be fully given when having peace inside yourself, while receiving love can help in finding peace.

His son still listened carefully. He told his son: Now you know this, you have all except one thing. His son asked what it was. And he responded to his son: "Have you never missed the love from your parents after those 20 years?". His son had trouble with this, and after a minute's silence said that he missed it. His father told him that it was not too late yet, and to forget grievances of a time long past. They both had gained wisdom, peace and adaptability, and with that they could resolve any conflict or problerm. Past, present and future.

Finally his father added:
One must not seek these 3 things. Once the time is ready they will come to you.

-----

This is a short story which is quite hard to translate from it's original form. It is a short story which has a lot of deeper meaning. I have kept this one to heart during the difficult times the past years, and I want to pass this on to anyone else who might have use in this.

Hey all,

I had this weekend quite some fun times with a Pirate, picking up my fursuit and visiting a city with someone I love a lot.

This weekend was all trouble with public transit though. I had to travel really a lot by train. Usually not much of a problem for me. But now it was. But both days where I had a lot of trouble I tricked the railway company.

First of all, I even knew better how to redirect my travel routes than the personnell of the railway company themselves. Eventually they changed the travel advice to how I advised them to do it. Very fun stuff.

When I wanted to go home, some idiot had gotten it into their minds to do maintenance work on one of the most busy train routes. It was also one I /had/ to take without big delays. Well, they were now redirecting me through it (causing several hours delays) or as alternative letting me travel 150km off the route and then back to circumvent it. Both took about the same time. I thought well, fuck that. So instead of calculating the route for the entire journey, I calculated from big intercity railway junction to the next one. Eventually, it saved 3h travel time.

It's quite funny how that route calculator is so broken as it was today.

Luckily I know how to fuck the system and just try to find a proper solution

Hey all,

here's another update. I hope everyone had a nice christmas. I never look forward to christmas due to my family. This time it was no different, but I must say it was quite okay. At least better than most years. I spent only christmas eve with family (which was horrible for me) and then I spent the rest of the days keeping my grandmother company. I must say I do like christmas, when it's celebrated correctly. For me, christmas is about being with family, possibly having something nice to eat. I don't care at all about giving a lot of presents. And I hate when people give very expensive ones. This year my family was not different from other years, giving way expensive gifts. I sent a picture of our 'gift pile' to some people, asking the question: "Is this christmas at all?". I think the pile was 2m wide, 1m deep and 1.5m high. It was insane.

Most of the expensive gifts were liked, but something struck me. My sister's boyfriend got 2 gifts from me, of which one was a back scratcher. It must have been one of the cheapest gifts he had received that evening, but he was extremely happy with it. And that's exactly my point. You don't have to gift ridiculously expensive gifts. It is mostly about the gesture and if the person has use of it. Of course, it's always nice to receive something beautiful, but I simply mostly don't care at all about luxury.

Also, for me it's simply that I prefer to give gifts which I have crafted myself. It is way more personal. Also, I don't give anything of my family's wishlists. I think my sister was the only exception to that. My mother and father all got gifts crafted by me, where it's clear that I spent a real effort into making them. My grandmother got a replacement for some kitchen equipment which had broken down. So this kinda shows how I handle christmas gifts. If they don't need anything directly, I often craft my own gifts. And that's something I prefer over buying any expensive unneeded gift. This was kinda my ramble about christmas.

Well, for the rest of my life. My job is still going very well, and I'm still very happy with it. I go gladly every day to work, which is very good. I do have some nightrest issues lately (due to stress lately I can not sleep very well any more), but luckily those hardly affect my work (save for one day when I fell asleep for work). I must say this is about the best job I could ever have gotten, and it is a major stepping stone for my life. I gave my boss big thanks for allowing me to work there, and thanked my collegues for the awesome atmosphere there.

For the rest, in terms of love earlier it didn't go too well. But that also might improve. I've currently got my eyes set on someone who I have liked for several years by now. She has the same, and we're already in a relationship. We both understand eachother very well, as our personalities have a huge amount (it even scares me a bit sometimes) of similarities. We could practically have been twins so to speak. It's very nice and welcome to have someone so understanding, caring and loving. And I think she also thinks the same. I hope this will last for the rest of my life!

I did talk earlier about the gender stuff. There has been some progress on that, but not exactly in the way you would expect. I have been starting to show my feminine traits in my personality more openly in real life. I think it's critical for me to feel emotionally well in real life. I'm not gonna switch genders any more, as that isn't needed. I am sure I am having both genders, since out of itself my body has been turning very feminine the past year. At this moment, my butt and hips can't be considered anything close to masculine any more, and it's still progressing. So something must be changing me, and I kinda know what it is. I'm very happy with my feminine hips and butt, and love to show them off. It's also why I've started with photoshoots, which I'll be posting some pictures of in january. There are already 2 pictures in my gallery, a bit hidden, but if you look well you'll find them. If you don't live too far away from me (IE: less than 4 hours travelling by train from Heerlen), want to have a photoshoot with me and have a weekend available you can just send me a note and we can work something out. Due to the long travel time, I do prefer to spend a full weekend at it and I'd need a sleeping place of course. The earliest I'll be available will be in february though, as I'll spend all weekends in january with visiting friends I couldn't keep in touch with in december.

For the rest, I took a break from Pirate Party stuff. I do still hold meetings and help them with setting up new regulations. But for the rest I'm very busy with setting my life on track for the rest of my life. I've progressed really far in that already, in one year. Many people around me are surprised that in summer 2011 I was a total wreck. Within 4 months of then I got a job, managed to keep it. It was not the best, but still it was something. And especially in these times you could be happy that you had something. And practically one year after I left my parent's house I got this job. So in one year I had gone from being a total wreck to being able to keep a job many would dream of. I think I do have to deeply thank everyone who helped me in this. Special thanks go to my grandmother, my assistant who helped me arrange stuff and my friends.

Thank you all!